Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
