Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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