the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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