just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
