Say something about gay babies.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
