1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
