My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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