I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
