Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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