Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
