I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
