I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
