then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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