I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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