Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
