who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
