Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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