I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
