I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
