I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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