Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
