Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
