i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
