You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
