butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
