Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
