Nicole vs. Life
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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