Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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