your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
