you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
