does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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