great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
