WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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