I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
