On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
