I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
