we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You were trust falling into bushes
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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