either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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