he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
