the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
