Don't you send me to vm
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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