Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
