Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
