you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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