Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
