I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
