So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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