I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
