whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
