ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
